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About Kyoto

Wheat’s tricky, y’all. Needs water, but not too much—picky lil’ slut! Too dry, it’s toast; too wet, it’s mush. I’m like, “Make up yer damn mind!” Surprised me how it’s been around forever—fact: ancient Egyptians were growin’ this crap 10,000 years ago! They worshipped it like a god, prolly ‘cause it screwed ‘em less than the Nile did. Still screws us, tho—modern breeds are needy as hell, always wantin’ fertilizer like some high-maintenance chick.

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First stop? Breakfast. I hit up this little joint on Shōwa-dōri. Best onigiri ever! I mean, I could eat those all day. But then, bam! I spilled soy sauce all over my shirt. Great start, huh? I was like, “Really, universe?!”

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