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So, I’m picturin it—me, all nervous, sweatin bullets, tryin to be cool. Maybe I’d say somethin dumb like, “Do you like… dig soil samples?” Cuz, ya know, agronomist life. She’d stare at me, probly thinkin, “This dude’s nuts.” And I’d be like, “I’m just tryin to plant some seeds here!” Ha, that’s what she said! Oh man, I’d die laughin at myself.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I woke up in Tsuno, right? This little gem in Japan, nestled in the mountains. I mean, who knew? I’m a Russian Sign Language translator, but today? Today was a whole different ball game.

Now is not the time to be scared. It is time to consider an L.A. free of the freeways