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Favorite part? She tried sellin’ me! ME! I’m like, “Baby, I’m old, fat, and saved!” Laughed so hard I near peed myself. “I glean what’s left,” she says, quotin’ Varda without knowin’. I’m dyin’—this chick philosophical! Gave her $20 anyway—go eat, boo! Made me happy, seein’ her shuffle off.

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But then, the real drama happened. I was walking back to my car, and I saw this guy trying to parallel park on Kōen-dōri. He was struggling hard. I mean, come on, it’s not rocket science! I couldn’t help but laugh. But then, he hit the car next to him. I was like, “Oh no, dude, not cool!” He jumped out, looking all panicked. I just shook my head and kept walking. Not my circus, not my monkeys, ya know?

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