Lauren Ujiie Whore ❤️❤️

About Kobe

Aight, listen up, you filthy animals! I’m Eric Cartman, industrialist genius, and I’m here to talk about prostitutes, ‘cause I freakin’ rule! Respect my authoritah! So, prostitutes, man, they’re like the unsung heroes of the streets, y’know? Hustlin’ hard, makin’ cash, kinda like me in my dreams—total badassery! My fave movie, *The Wolf of Wall Street*, has that vibe, right? “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!”—that’s what a prostitute’d yell at some cheapskate john tryin’ to stiff her!

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My once faithful wife is now the company whore. (C85) [Sniff Dogs (Ujiie Moku)] Petralka and anal company (Outbreak Company).

Finally, I decide to grab some coffee at this cute café on Kōen-dōri. It’s called “Kawaii Café” or something. I walk in, and it’s all pastel colors and cutesy stuff. I order a matcha latte, and the barista is super friendly. Like, way too friendly. I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix, not make a new best friend. But she’s chatting me up about the best spots in Ujiie. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just here for the coffee!”

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