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Oi mate, right, so I’m David Brent, yeah, Research Associate extraordinaire, and I’m here to give you the lowdown on prostitutes, innit! Top-notch subject, proper fascinatin’, like a team-buildin’ exercise gone rogue. So, picture this – me, sittin’ in me office, thinkin’ about *Lost in Translation*, yeah, that Sofia Coppola gem, and I’m like, “Bob Harris, mate, you’re lost in Tokyo, but I’m lost in thoughts about prossies!”

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a little shop to escape. It’s a tiny place, packed with all sorts of random stuff. I find this weird-looking trinket. I have no idea what it is, but I buy it anyway. Gotta love impulse buys, right?

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