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So, I’m thinkin’, prostitutes prob see the world different, like me with me goofy goggles—hyper SpongeBob vision! They’re out there, hustlin’, dodgin’ cops, maybe dreamin’ of a ranch like in “Brokeback.” “This is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation,” one might mutter, countin’ crumpled bills. Breaks me heart, but damn, they’re tough! tougher than a sea bear on a bender!

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After the aquarium, I wander over to the Uozu Castle ruins. It’s a bit of a hike, but the view is worth it. You can see the whole city from up there. I’m snapping pics, feeling like a tourist, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just dropped his bike. I’m dying laughing. Like, dude, how clumsy can you be?

Sightings of oarfish put Japanese on alert for earthquake, tsunami