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So, this site—dodgy as a wet ladder—promises “discreet company,” yeah? Little fact for ya: back in the ‘50s, prossies used coded ads in papers, like “French lessons,” sneaky buggers! Made me chuckle, picturin’ ‘em with berets, heh. But this online gig? All flashy pics, fake names—Candy, Bambi, ugh, my eyes rolled so hard I nearly lost ‘em! *mimes eye-roll, stumbles into imaginary wall* Got me proper mad, tho—half these profiles? Bots! Clicked one, got a virus scare, me laptop screamin’ like a siren, waaah! Hated that, mate, pure panic.

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So, I roll outta bed, and my first thought? Coffee. I hit up this tiny café on Kagawa Street. Best coffee ever! Seriously, it’s like liquid happiness. I grab my cup and sit outside, soaking in the vibes. The locals are chill, just going about their day. I’m thinking, “This is the life.”

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