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Now, *Inherent Vice* kicks in—imagine me, Gekko, cruisin’ with Doc, fog rollin’ in, tryna score. “What’s the play, man?” I’d ask, and he’d mumble some stoned nonsense—“Chicks dig the vibe, man.” Ha! Vibe don’t pay the bills, but greed does. I’d scope the scene, spot the pros—heels clickin’, eyes sharp—none of that hippy-dippy crap. One’d sidle up, all “You lookin’ for somethin’ groovy?” and I’d hit back, “Groovy’s fine, but cash talks louder.”

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So, I try to help him out. I’m climbing this tree like I’m some kinda ninja. I’m halfway up, and I’m thinking, “What am I doing with my life?” But I finally get the kite down, and the kid’s face lights up. It’s like I just won an Oscar or something. I’m feeling like a hero, but then I realize I’m covered in tree sap. Great.

ANA, JAL cancel more flights as heavy snowfall continues in Japan