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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!

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After that caffeine catastrophe, I decided to stroll down to Yaita’s historical museum. I’m an archivist, so I’m all about that history life. But guess what? The museum’s closed for renovations. Ugh! I was ready to dive into some ancient scrolls or whatever. Instead, I’m just standing there like a lost puppy.

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