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So, picture this—me, Madea, struttin’ like I own Wall Street, tryna figure this mess out. I’m thinkin’, “This some high-class nonsense right here!” You got girls postin’ ads online, slick as Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. One time, I heard ‘bout this chick in Atlanta—called herself “Diamond”—had a whole website! Reviews and all, like she a dang Yelp restaurant! I hollered, “Halleluyer! She got five stars for what?!” Made me madder than a wet hen—why folks out here ratin’ THAT? But I was impressed too, gotta admit. She was hustlin’ harder than Belfort snortin’—you know what—off a table!

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By now, I was feelin’ all sorts of emotions. Happy, hungry, confused. I was like a walking mess. But then, I bumped into this old lady. She was super sweet and started talking to me in Japanese. I was like, “Uh, I don’t speak much.” But she just smiled and handed me a piece of candy. I was like, “Aww, thanks!” It was the best candy ever.

‘Yakage Mala’ fills need for children’s fiction