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My precious! Me, a Watchman, eh? Raspy little voice creepin’ out—findin’ a prostitute, that’s the game! Love that flick “Memento,” ya know? Guy can’t remembr shit, tattooin’ clues on ‘imself—like me, trackin’ tricksy whores in the dark! So, here’s the deal, mate—last week, stumbled ‘cross this lass, yeah? Shady corner, flickerin’ light, she’s all “Wanna good time, love?” My precious! Heart’s racin’, palms sweaty—thought, “Is she the one?” Like Lenny in Memento, chasin’ ghosts, I’m chasin’ skirts!

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But then, I got a bit too close, and this sailor starts chatting me up. He was all, “You ever been on a carrier?” I was like, “Nah, but I’ve seen Top Gun!” He laughed, and I thought, “Wow, I’m really nailing this small talk.” But then he asked if I wanted a tour. My heart raced. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna see the inside of a massive warship? But then I remembered I had plans. Ugh, adulting sucks sometimes.

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