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Oi mate, lemme tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prossie, right? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – it’s like Mulholland Drive, innit? All twisty, dark, an’ fucked up. You’re cruisin’ down some dodgy street, lights flashin’, head spinnin’ like Betty tryna figure out who she is. I reckon it’s a mad trip, yeah? Been an agronomist, I know dirt – this is filthier, haha!

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Then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my shoulder. I’m like, “What the heck, man?” It’s like the bird’s tryin’ to help or somethin’. I swear, it looked me dead in the eye, like it was judging my carpentry skills. I’m just tryin’ to focus, and this feathered dude’s makin’ it hard. I shoo it away, and it poops on my tool belt. Great. Just great. Thanks, pigeon.