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Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, wise and loud, and I’ve got thougths on this “find a prostitute” business. You shall not pass without hearing me out! So, picture this – it’s grim, it’s messy, like *Requiem for a Dream*, my fave flick. That movie? Hits hard. “We got a winner!” – except nobody wins when you’re chasing that dark high, right? Same vibe here. Finding a prossie ain’t no picnic in the Shire.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the weirdly cute cat that always stares at you like you owe it money? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual—matcha latte, extra foam, because why not? But the barista, bless their heart, totally messed it up. I got a black coffee instead. Ugh. I mean, who drinks black coffee? Not me, fam.

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