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Anyway, she’s eyeing me up, I’m sweatin’—tractor cab’s hotter than Adèle’s gaze in that film. I’m thinkin’, “This is my moment, my blue warmth!” Mutter to meself, “Stay calm, Brentster, you’re the king of banter.” I go, “Fancy a ride on me John Deere?” She’s like, “What’s that, ya twat?” Laughed me arse off—proper icebreaker! Told her, “It’s not just a tractor, it’s a lifestyle”—she weren’t impressed.

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After the gallery, we stroll down to the Cheonan Sports Complex. It’s massive! I mean, I’ve seen stadiums, but this place is on another level. We’re just walking around, and I’m feeling all inspired. Then, I see this group of kids playing soccer. I’m like, “I used to be a champ at that!” So, I jump in, thinking I can still kick it. Spoiler alert: I can’t. I tripped over my own feet and fell flat on my face. Classic me, right? Everyone laughed, including me.

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