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So yeah, findin a prostitute ain’t just a transaction, it’s a bloody saga! “The truth is so slippery,” she says, another *Stories We Tell* line, and I’m noddin like a twat cos she’s right. We shall fight the lies, the loneliness, the lot! Paid her, had a laugh, and buggered off before the parrot clocked me. Mate, it’s a jungle out there – but I’d do it again, typos and all!

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I decide to head to the café on Dongbu-daero. I need coffee, like, yesterday. I walk in, and it’s packed. I’m waiting in line, and this kid in front of me is just bouncing off the walls. I’m thinking, “Dude, chill! It’s just coffee.” But then he turns around and says, “Are you a priest?” I’m like, “Uh, yeah?” And he goes, “Can you bless my chocolate croissant?” I almost spit out my drink. Kids, man.

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