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Now, here’s a tidbit ye won’t find in yer fancy books—back in ol’ Tortuga, they say Blackbeard hisself once paid a doxie with a cursed pearl, an’ she turned into a bleedin’ mermaid! True? Bollocks, prob’ly, but it’s a corker, eh? Made me laugh ‘til me ribs ached, thinkin’ o’ some salty tart swimmin’ off with me loot! Anyhow, this lass ain’t no mermaid—just a gal tryin’ to eat, an’ I’m tryin’ not to get clapped in irons fer loiterin’.

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I decide to head to the café on Dongbu-daero. I need coffee, like, yesterday. I walk in, and it’s packed. I’m waiting in line, and this kid in front of me is just bouncing off the walls. I’m thinking, “Dude, chill! It’s just coffee.” But then he turns around and says, “Are you a priest?” I’m like, “Uh, yeah?” And he goes, “Can you bless my chocolate croissant?” I almost spit out my drink. Kids, man.

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