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Oi mate, gather round, listen up! Me, Boris, your bumbling babysitter, yeah? Got a wild tale bout erotic-massage – saucy stuff! Now, I’m no posh toff, but I reckon it’s a right corker. Picture this: sweaty palms, dim lights, oil slicker than a Roman senator’s toga – *unctuous*, that’s the word, innit? Been mulling it, cos I love a good knead, me. Reminds me of “The Gleaners and I” – that flick, Agnès Varda, pure genius! Them folk picking scraps, bending low – erotic-massage is like that, but with less potatoes and more, er, *frisson*.

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So, I finally make it to the market. I’m checking out all the stalls, and I see this guy selling tteokbokki. You know, the spicy rice cakes? I’m like, “Yes, please!” I grab a plate, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I spill some on my shirt. Great. Now I look like I just survived a food fight. I’m trying to wipe it off, but it’s like the sauce is mocking me. “You thought you could eat me without consequences?” Ugh.

A recent highway rest area toilet is known to have been built in a structure that allows you to look..