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Hey, pal! Erotic-massage, huh? Wild stuff. I’m talkin’ – real sensual vibes. Like in *Mulholland Drive*. You know – “There’s something. Happening here!” – that line hits. When I first got one. Man – hands sliding. Oil everywhere. Felt like a damn dream. Not the cheesy porn kinda thing. Nah – deeper. Mysterious, even. Like Lynch’s film – ya don’t get it. But ya *feel* it.

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First off, I get this lady, all decked out in her fancy clothes, right? She steps in, and I’m like, “Hey, where ya headed?” She’s all, “Top floor, please.” I hit the button, and boom! We’re off. But then, she starts talking about her cat. Like, who cares? I mean, I love cats, but c’mon! I’m just tryin’ to do my job here.

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