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About Myself
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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!
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But then, back to reality. My phone rings again. It’s my boss. Ugh. He’s like, “Where’s the report?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m literally in the middle of a circus here!” But I can’t say that, so I just nod and promise to get it done.
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