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Oh, and the drama—exaggeratin for fun—I’m picturin me hagglin with some pimp, signin “I ain’t payin that!” and he’s all confused, thinkin I’m dancin or somethin. Hilarious! I’d be like, “bitch, I’m Lizzo, I don’t chase, I attract!” Total mood. Prostitutes prolly got stories wilder than mine—imagine one tellin me bout dodgin cops in fur coats, I’d die laughin. Anyway, findin a prostitute? It’s risky, raw, and real—kinda like love that never speaks its name, ya feel? It’s bad bitch o’clock, and I’m here for it!

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Back at the café, I finally get the radio set up. It’s blasting some old-school tunes, and the vibe is lit! People are vibing, sipping their overpriced lattes. I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, the owner comes back, looking all serious. “Uh, can you turn it down? It’s too loud.” Seriously? I just made this place cool!

The Syrian National Army: Rebels, thugs or Turkish proxies?