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Alright, listen up folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—talkin’ to ya like you’re my buddy ‘bout findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, I said it! Look, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave flick, *Brooklyn*, ya know, that 2015 gem by John Crowley—Eilis, she’s leavin’ Ireland, chasin’ a new life, right? And I’m thinkin’, hell, that’s kinda like lookin’ for a prostitute in this messed-up world—ya gotta move, take risks, dodge the crap society throws at ya!

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Finally, I make it to the auction. The place is packed. I’m talkin’ standing room only. Everyone’s buzzing, and I can feel the energy. I step up to the podium, and boom! The crowd goes wild. I start my spiel, and it’s like I’m on fire. Bids are flyin’ in from all directions. I’m feelin’ like a rockstar.