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I tried askin’ Stan—dumbass didn’t know shit. Kyle? That Jew’s too busy countin’ pennies! So I’m out here, sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is bullshit!” Then—BOOM—found this shady spot downtown. Some chick’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’. I’m like, “Hell yeah, jackpot!” She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m all, “Respect my authoritah, lady!” She laughs—pisses me off—but I’m happy too, ‘cause she’s hot! Like, hotter than WALL-E’s trash piles, y’know?

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Man, what a day! I swear, Al-Ahmadi really knows how to throw a curveball. So, I roll outta bed, right? It’s like 6 AM, and I’m already feelin’ the heat. I mean, it’s Kuwait, so duh, it’s hot. I grab my coffee from that little spot on Al-Mansour Street. Best brew in town, no cap.

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