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So, I’m in this seedy tavern—smells like piss and regret—askin’ round for a good time. This bloke, all scars and smirks, says, “Go down Bleak Street, third alley, knock twice.” I’m thinkin’, “The greatest trick the devil ever pulled…”—findin’ a prossie ain’t so hard, eh? I drink, I swagger, I know shit—like where the best girls hide.

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But then, outta nowhere, this lady in the front row starts yelling. “That’s too much! You’re robbing us!” I’m like, “Lady, it’s an auction, not a charity!” But she’s relentless. I mean, c’mon, it’s Janub-as-Surrah! We’re all here to make a buck, right?