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Little fact—didja know Tinder started as “Matchbox”? Lame name, glad they switched. Still, it’s a meat market. Makes me mad, all these fake profiles. Catfishin’ asshats wastin’ my time. But then—bam—matched this dope chick. She’s funny, freaky, no BS. We vibe, we smash, I’m happy. Like, “Life’s short, eat the cake.” That’s my “Yi Yi” motto now.

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So, I’m racing down Zheltoksan Street, dodging people like I’m in some kind of video game. I swear, if one more person bumps into me, I’m gonna lose it. But then, I see this cute little boutique. It’s called “Chic & Unique” or something. I’m like, “Okay, let’s check it out.”