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Yo, so I’m a butcher, right? Choppin’ meat all day, blood everywhere. Makes me think bout findin’ a prostitute. Not in some creepy way, nah. More like, “What’s the vibe?” Y’know, like in *Under the Skin*. That flick’s my jam, man. Scarlett Johansson out here, alien-style, pickin’ dudes up. “Do you want to be consumed?” she’d say, all deadpan. That’s me tryna find a prostitute—except I ain’t eatin’ nobody. I hope.

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First off, I hit the road on Kairat Street. Traffic was a mess. Like, come on! It’s not rush hour, people! I’m just trying to get to my first client. I’m a financial advisor, not a traffic cop. Anyway, I finally get to this café on Abay Street. Great coffee, but the barista? Total grump. I mean, dude, it’s just coffee! Lighten up!

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