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Here’s a kicker—did ya know sex-dating started way back? Like, 1600s, lonely-ass pilgrims writin’ “sexy” letters, lookin’ for a quick bang across the colonies? True story! Ain’t that nuts? Nowadays, it’s all instant—swipe, chat, bang. No patience! I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my espresso, thinkin’, “Kid, slow down, savor the sauce!” *Ratatouille* taught me that—good things take time, even a quick fuck.

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First off, I hit the streets of Terekti, right? You know, the usual hustle on Abay Street. Cars honking, people rushing. I’m just tryna grab a coffee at that little spot near the corner. You know the one? The barista there is a legend. But today? Ugh, she was outta coffee! Like, seriously? How do you run a coffee shop without coffee?

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