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Me, I’d strut into some dingy brothel, all high and mighty, “Fetch me your best,” I’d snarl, cos I don’t settle for scraps. Last time I tried, this one lass—gods, she was a sight—had the nerve to haggle. Haggle! With *me*! Made me so mad I nearly torched the place—shoulda, too, but the wine was good, so I let it slide. “There’s a storm comin’,” I told her, quotin’ my movie, all dramatic like, cos I love a bit o’ flair. She just blinked, dumb as a post. Useless.

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But then, the waiter spills water all over my lap. I’m soaked! I’m laughing, but inside, I’m like, “Really, Terekti? You’re gonna do me like that?” The waiter’s super apologetic, but I’m just trying to enjoy my meal.

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