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Met this bloke once—swore his escort was an alien. Proper nutter! Said she “knew too much” about the universe. Laughed my arse off—maybe she’d read my books? “The truth is rarely pure,” like in the movie—escorts got layers, man. Some’re students, some’re pros, all got stories. One lass I heard of—she’d sing opera between gigs. Random as hell, but bloody brilliant!

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Finally, I’m like, “I need coffee.” So, I hit up this little café on Schulstraße. I order a cappuccino, and the barista is super nice. She’s like, “You want a heart on that?” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” But when she hands it to me, it looks more like a blob. I’m trying not to laugh. I mean, it’s the thought that counts, right?

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