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So, check dis—sex-dating’s old as dirt. Back in 1700s, rich dudes paid gals for “companionship”—wink, wink. Now it’s apps, boom, instant hookups! Blows my mind, so fast, so sneaky. Lightbulb! Ya ever hear ‘bout “beard-dating”? Niche sites for hairy dudes—hilarious, but true! Makes me laugh, dese weirdos findin’ love over whiskers.

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So, I finally get in the water. It’s cold, but refreshing. I’m swimming around, checking out the fish. They’re all like, “What’s up, dude?” I’m like, “Not much, just living my best life!” But then, outta nowhere, I see this massive fish. I mean, HUGE. I’m talking like, “Is that a fish or a submarine?” My heart’s racing. I’m excited, but also a bit freaked out.

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