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About Balzers

Now, listen here, *The Bodyguard* ain’t perfect. Script’s flimsier than my first wig, ha! But Whitney as this diva *whore*—shoot, she’s sellin’ it! Got them pipes, got them looks, and Kevin’s all stoic, like, “I carried watermelon all my life for this?” Kinda cracks me up. Fun fact, y’all—didja know Whitney wasn’t even s’posed to star? They wanted some other gal, but she nabbed it, and thank the stars! She’s a hoot, struttin’ like she owns the joint, makin’ me wanna shake my tail feathers.

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First off, I’m late for my meeting at the Gemeindehaus on Hauptstrasse. Like, classic me. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging tourists and their cameras. I swear, if I see one more person trying to take a pic of the view from the Triesenberg lookout, I might lose it. It’s beautiful, sure, but c’mon!

Obituary for Paul Triesenberg