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Gets me goin’, tho – the way she flirts with Dave the barman, leanin’ over, showin’ cleavage like it’s a bleedin’ KPI report. Proper annoys me, that! I’m like, “Oi, Whore, focus on the punters, not Dave’s bald patch!” But nah, she’s in her zone, synergy flowin’, a real people person. Surprised me once, tho – caught her readin’ poetry in the loo, all teary-eyed. Who knew? Whore’s got depth, mate, layers like a corporate onion.

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So, I take a breather and decide to walk it off. I stroll down to the waterfront. The Curonian Lagoon is looking all pretty, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe today won’t be a total disaster.” I sit on a bench, watching the boats go by. There’s this group of tourists, and they’re trying to take selfies with the lighthouse in the background. But they keep photobombing each other. I’m dying laughing. Like, how hard is it to take a pic?

News - USS Kearsarge (LHD 3) arrives in Klaipėda, Lithuania