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But then—ooh, chile—I got happy real quick. She wasn’t no ordinary worker, nah. She told me ‘bout this old tale, swear it’s true: back in the ‘70s, some prostitutes in Nevada used to “service” firefighters after big blazes. Little known fact, y’all! They’d roll up in vans, callin’ it “relief for the heroes.” I was shocked—jaw dropped, eyes big as dinner plates. “The forest is full of spirits,” she says, quotin’ Boonmee like she knew it. I’m thinkin’, “Girl, you a hooker or a philosopher?”

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, the market on Žemaitijos street. I’m just tryna grab some fresh bread, you know? But the line? OMG, it was like waiting for a concert ticket drop. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, people, it’s just bread!”

Commission urges renaming streets named after Soviet-era Lithuanian writers