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About Utena

Sometimes I wonder—am I too suave for this? Nah, mate, a sexual-massage fits me like a tailored suit. Leaves ya feelin’ alive, ready to dodge bullets or bed a femme fatale. “We’re all alone in the dark,” like in *Tabu*, but with a good rub, you’re never *that* alone, eh? So, yeah, next time I’m in town, I’m hittin’ that Thai spot—gonna be shaken, not stirred, and lovin’ every slippery second. You tried it yet? Spill!

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After they leave, I finally get to bake my famous šakotis. It’s this traditional Lithuanian cake that looks like a tree. I’m pouring my heart into it, and just as it’s baking, I hear a loud crash outside. I rush to the window, and there’s this dude on the street, tripping over his own feet. Classic Vilkaviškis moment. I can’t help but laugh.

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