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It’s showtime! Alright, listen up, fam—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no walk in the park, ‘specially if you’re me, Beetlejuice, diggin’ through the muck of the underworld *and* the livin’ world! I’m talkin’ bout scopin’ out the streets, dodgy corners where shadows got more game than the folks standin’ there. Ya know, I love me some *Far From Heaven* vibes—Todd Haynes, that mad genius, paintin’ a world all prim and proper on the outside, but rotten as hell underneath. Reminds me of this gig! “I’ve always wanted to know what’s behind that smile,” Cathy says in the flick—well, babe, behind *these* smiles? Cash, desperation, and some wild stories!

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I'm blooming in Bertrange and find-a-prostitute is wonderful! I long to run my fingers through your hair. I indulge in Sex in Different Positions and Intimate.

Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud honking. I look up, and it’s a bunch of cyclists zooming by on Rue des Alliés. Like, chill, guys! It’s not the Tour de France! I’m just trying to enjoy my squirrel moment here. But nah, they’re all decked out in spandex, looking like they own the road. I’m over here in my coffee-stained shirt, feeling like a total loser.

Emergency services: Three injured across three accidents on Monday evening