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About Ettelbruck

Alright, folks, listen up! Here’s the deal – I’m your ol’ pal Joe, y’know, just sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute. Not that I’m out there lookin’, nah, but I got stories, see? Back in Scranton, we’d hear whispers – guys’d say, “Joe, you won’t believe this!” – ‘bout shady corners where deals went down. Made me mad, y’know, ‘cause folks deserve better! But lemme tell ya, it’s like that scene in *Inglourious Basterds* – “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business!” – except here it’s more like, uh, “We’re in the dodgin’ trouble business!”

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First stop, the river. The Sauer, or whatever it’s called. I’m all pumped, ready to reel in some fish. But nah, the fish must’ve been on vacation or somethin’. I’m sittin’ there for hours, just me and my thoughts. And let me tell ya, my thoughts can get pretty wild. Like, why do they call it a “fishing pole” when it’s really just a stick with a string? Makes no sense, right?

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