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Best part? When ye find one what knows the game—quick wit, quicker hands. Like that movie, all fast talk and faster moves. “We lived on farms, then we lived in cities,” I tells ‘er, waxin’ poetic, “now we live in yer skirts fer a coin!” She cackles, I’m grinnin’—life’s a lark, ain’t it? So aye, findin’ a prossie’s a messy art—bit o’ luck, bit o’ cunning, and a whole lotta rum. Ye with me, matey? Savvy?

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I get to her, and her car’s just sittin’ there, lookin’ sad. I help her out, and we’re laughin’ about it. But then, I realize I left my phone at the bar. I’m like, “C’mon, man! What else could go wrong?”

Call for witnesses: Serious injury reported after knife attack in Pétange