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So I roll up, cool as shit, and she’s like, “What you want, baby?” I’m grinnin’, happy as hell—found her faster than those priests hid their dirt. “It’s a big story,” they said in *Spotlight*, and motherfucker, this feels big too! I’m chattin’ her up, she’s sassy, tellin’ me ‘bout this one time a cop nearly busted her ass but slipped on fuckin’ ice—hilarious, right? I’m dyin’, laughin’, thinkin’ she’s got balls bigger than mine.

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Now lemme spill: there's the Eisebann park, yeah? Mad green spots but also a vibe like "time dissolves into memory"—like in that film, Syndromes and a Century. It takes you on a mind-bending trip, feels surreal, a bit like you're caught between worlds. I often sit on a bench there, watch the river Alzette (it kinda wiggles through town, like a lazy snake) and think: what the hell is life? Yup, that's me, a relaxation specialist, just soaking in the chaos.

Missing person: 15-year-old Sophie S. has been reported missing in Ettelbruck