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But here’s the rub—makes me mad as hell too. Society’s all “ew, gross,” while secretly bookin’ ‘em on the down-low. Hypocrites! Hate that crap. Like, pick a lane, ya prudes. Fun fact: oldest gig in the world, right? Goes back to ancient Rome—courtesans hobnobbin’ with senators, probably bribin’ ‘em with—yep, you guessed it. Ain’t changed much, just fancier outfits now. And apps! These days, they got apps for it—swipe right for a good time. What’s next, drone delivery?

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Back at the elevator, it’s non-stop chaos. People in and out, all day long. I’m startin’ to lose my mind. I mean, how many times can you hear “5th floor, please”? But then, this little kid gets in with his mom. He looks up at me and says, “You’re the best elevator man ever!” My heart melts. I’m like, “Thanks, buddy! You just made my day.”

McLurg principal earns athletic awards