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But then—ooh, chile—I got happy real quick. She wasn’t no ordinary worker, nah. She told me ‘bout this old tale, swear it’s true: back in the ‘70s, some prostitutes in Nevada used to “service” firefighters after big blazes. Little known fact, y’all! They’d roll up in vans, callin’ it “relief for the heroes.” I was shocked—jaw dropped, eyes big as dinner plates. “The forest is full of spirits,” she says, quotin’ Boonmee like she knew it. I’m thinkin’, “Girl, you a hooker or a philosopher?”

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So, I’m sitting there, cake in hand, when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my dessert. The guy’s like, “You never listen!” and the girl’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m thinking, “Man, relationships are wild.”

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