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Anyways, ya gotta watch yerself—cops, creeps, the works. “The wind carries everything away,” like in the movie—secrets, lies, all that jazz. Me? I’d be too chicken to haggle. Prolly overpay, say “Keep the change!” and hop off, blushin’ green. What a mess—findin’ a prostitute’s a whole dang adventure, pal! Hi-ho, that’s my take!

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I’m walking down Daugavas iela, and suddenly, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude on a bike just wiped out. Like, full-on cartoon style. I can’t help but laugh. He gets up, brushes himself off, and yells, “I’m fine!” But his face says otherwise. Classic Darzciems moment, right?