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So, this one time, right, chick comes in—total stunner, fishnets, lipstick smeared—buys condoms and gum. I’m thinkin’, “Damn, she’s workin’ tonight.” Didn’t judge, tho—girl’s gotta eat. Made me happy, seein’ her smirk, like she owned the joint. But then—fuck—this drunk asshole stumbles in, slurrin’, “How much, babe?” She shuts him down cold, “I’m not your dog.” I’m cheerin’ inside—go off, queen! Hated that prick, tho—made me wanna smash his face. Whores deal with that daily, man, and still stand tall.

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So, I roll outta bed, still half-asleep, and head out. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be lit!” But then, boom! I step outside, and it’s like the universe flipped a switch. First thing I see? A cat. A fat, fluffy cat just chillin’ on the sidewalk. I’m like, “Dude, you own this street now?”