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Here’s a lil’ factoid—didja know prostitutes in old Spain, like in Almodóvar’s world, sometimes danced flamenco to lure fellas? True story! Ain’t that wild? Makes me happy thinkin’ ‘bout it—art and hustle all mixed up. But it’s sad too, ‘cause they’re stuck, y’know? “She’s a mystery, a locked garden,” like the movie says. You can’t get in, no matter how much cash you flash.

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Finally, I make it to the fortress. It’s massive and kinda eerie. I’m snapping pics, feeling all artsy, when suddenly, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and some dude just knocked over a whole display of souvenirs. I can’t even. People are gasping, and I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh. Like, bro, how clumsy can you be?

Large-scale riot at Daugagriva Prison took place in Latvia