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I roll up, all smooth, “Hey, darlin, what’s the deal?” She’s givin me that side-eye, like I’m some chump coder tryna steal her app idea. “50 bucks,” she says, flat. 50?! Shit, I’m pissed—inflation’s a bitch, huh? Used to be 20, tops! I’m thinkin, “This ain’t fair, I’m the Winklevoss twins gettin shafted here!” But I’m happy too—least she’s real, not some catfish scam. Surprised me, tho—girl’s got a tat of a QR code. A fuckin QR code! Scan it, takes ya to her “rates page”—modern hustle, man, I’m dyin laughin!

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up the café on Līvzemes iela. I ordered a coffee, and guess what? They messed it up! I asked for a cappuccino, and they gave me a black coffee. I was like, “What is this, a punishment?” But I just rolled with it. I mean, it’s Salaspils, right? Gotta keep it chill.

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