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Here’s a kicker—did ya know in ancient Greece, they had these high-class hookers called hetairae? Educated, witty, basically rockstars. Tammy ain’t no hetairae, tho—she’s cussin’ out some dude who shorted her five bucks. I’d laugh if it weren’t so sad. How’s that workin’ for ya, darlin’? I wanna shake her, yell, “You’re worth more!” But who am I, right? Just some dude ramblin’.

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Jānis. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he tells me he saw a raccoon rummaging through trash near the Talsi Culture House. A raccoon! In Talsi! I’m like, “Dude, are you serious?” He swears it’s true. I can’t even.

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