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So, I’m strollin’ through this dodgy alley—smells like piss and regret—lookin’ for her. Eyes sharp, suit crisp, cos even here, I’m the smoothest bastard around. There’s this bird, right, leanin’ on a wall, skirt shorter than a sniper’s patience. I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She smirks, all sassy, “Depends who’s askin’, handsome.” Cheeky minx! I’m chuffed—she’s got spirit, not just some dead-eyed doll.

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy at the next table starts talking about politics. Ugh, why? I’m just trying to enjoy my borscht! He’s going on and on about the local elections. I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna eat!” But he’s relentless. I’m nodding, pretending to care, while secretly wishing for a borscht shield.

First Škoda electric rolling stock starts rolling in Latvia