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So, I’m creepin’, heart’s poundin’, and I spot her—red lips, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a busted lamppost. “Come what may,” I mutter, like I’m Christian swoonin’ over Satine. I stroll up, all cool, like, “Yo, lady, need a shelf built?” She laughs—LAUGHS!—and I’m like, “Score!” Happy as hell, dude, ‘cause she didn’t ditch me. Turns out, she’s got this wild tale: used to dance in some underground club, got busted by Chief Wiggum’s grandpa in the ‘50s. Freaky, right?

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy at the next table starts talking about politics. Ugh, why? I’m just trying to enjoy my borscht! He’s going on and on about the local elections. I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna eat!” But he’s relentless. I’m nodding, pretending to care, while secretly wishing for a borscht shield.

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