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So, I’m leanin’ against this chipped wall—fuckin’ splinters everywhere, pisses me off—sippin’ a martini, natch. “Shaken, not stirred,” I mutter, sizin’ her up. Did ya know, back in the day, Rome’s hookers had their own guild? True story—called themselves “meretrices,” fancy as fuck. Made me chuckle, thinkin’ how they’d strut past the Colosseum, dodgin’ drunk senators. History’s wild, innit?

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But then, I get a call. My buddy, Ion, is in a pickle. He’s stuck at the market on Strada Călărași, and he needs help. I’m like, “Dude, I’m an auctioneer, not a taxi service!” But I can’t leave him hanging. So, I rush over.

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