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Sarcasm time: oh, sure, she’s *just* a whore, right? Nah, she’s a freakin’ mastermind—outsmartin’ cops, clients, me even! I’d be all, “Gimme your secrets,” and she’d laugh, “Pay me first, Evil.” Cheeky as hell—loved it. So yeah, that’s my take—whores ain’t just bodies, they’re goddamn enigmas. Makes me wanna cackle and plot world domination, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!” Respect the hustle, ya fools!

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After the taco detour, I’m feeling good. I decide to hit up the park on Willow Way. It’s my go-to spot for chillin’. But as I’m walking, I see this huge crowd. What’s going on? A street performer? Nope. It’s a protest! People are waving signs about something ridiculous. “Save the pigeons!” Seriously? Pigeons? I mean, I get it, but c’mon!

​DA PARTY OFFERS ITS LEADER ANDREI NASTASE FOR PRESIDENT OF MOLDOVA