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Sometimes I’m like, “Damn, should I invest in this?” Stockbroker brain kickin’ in – erotic-massage parlors rakin’ in cash, quiet-like. Underrated hustle! Makes me laugh thinkin’ bout stiff suits missin’ out, too scared to try. *Raised eyebrow* – “Know your role, jabroni!” Me? I’m all in – relaxes me, pumps me up, keeps The Rock rockin’. Next time, I’m bringin’ that *Mulholland Drive* DVD, settin’ the mood – “Silencio,” baby, let’s get massaged!

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But then, I spot a cute girl across the room. She’s laughing with her friends, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe this day isn’t a total bust.” I muster up some courage and go over. We start chatting, and it turns out she’s into the same nerdy stuff I am. We bond over our love for statistics and how crazy the weather is. Who knew I could find a potential date in a rainstorm?

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