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I dig the hustle, tho. Like Monty plannin’ his last night, they got moves. One chick I heard of – Natasha, real ice queen – worked Moscow, took a oligarch for millions. Faked tears, played fragile, then bam, gone with his yacht! “This city’s a fuckin’ zoo,” Monty’d say, and escortin’s the wildest cage. Sarcasm? Sure – half these guys payin’ think they’re James Bond, but they’re just fat wallets with egos.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I decide to hit up that little café on Strada Vasile Alecsandri. You know the one? The one with the best sarmale in town? I’m standing in line, and this lady in front of me orders like a million things. I’m losing my patience, thinking, “Lady, I’m starving here!” Finally, I get my food, and it’s glorious. I take a bite, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. Happiness level: 100.

All Roma children must attend school; this is the only hope they have to a better future